The Wolves Are Out Of The Bag!

I've launched the official site of my novel, with just a couple tidbits of info--the logo and the book's back cover. There will be plenty more to share in the upcoming weeks, including more artwork, sample chapters, details on a companion project and more!

What are you waiting for?

The Lost Art of Shitting in the Right Place

My gift to you today:

If, in this moment in your life, you don't have to try to convince anything to shit in the right place, take a moment to appreciate it. Really, breathe deep and enjoy it.

I've had to try to convince things to shit in the right place since I got my dog in 1997. Lots of love during those years, but I don't think I appreciated how valuable it truly was to not have to try to convince anything to shit in the right place.

Maybe I'm just broken. Maybe it's because I've been trying since 1997 and I have never convinced anything to shit in the right place. In this endeavor, I've been a total and complete failure. I'm batting .000. Zero point zero.

Now that I think about it, I'm surprised I've convinced myself to shit in the right place. I wonder how I haven't gotten confused. Or just flat-out refused. I've had to clean up everything else's shit, I guess I might as well try my own some time.

Anyway.

If, like me, you're in a phase in your life where you do have to try to convince things to shit in the right place, just know that I'm there with you. Maybe we'll get through this together.

Or maybe we'll just clean up more shit.

I'm Blogging at the Huffington Post

Yep, here I am posting on my blog that I'm posting on another blog. Narcissism, anyone?

Every couple weeks I'll be contributing to the Huffington Post's culture section, specifically in the Geek Like Me series. You can find an archive of my material here, or in the toolbar above.

Robot Chicken Figure Charity Sweepstakes

UPDATE: The contest is over. Thanks to everyone who entered!

My cousin Jill is running a half Ironman race on October 2, 2011, as a member of team  DetermiNation, whose function is to raise money for the American Cancer Society.

Personally, I decided she was off her rocker before I even looked up what a half Ironman race was--and now I'm quite certain that she's certifiably batshit. Follow me here: it's a 1.2 mile swim...I can't remember the last time I even walked 1.2 miles...followed by a whatthefuck 56 mile bike ride...and then (then!) a 13.1 mile run. I don't get this way of life at all, folks--I have a policy not to run unless someone is chasing me, and even then I'll likely take breaks every fifty feet or so to try and negotiate or set-up overnight camp. But Jill is my cousin, and I guess...well, she's my cousin. Beyond that, I can't vouch for her sanity. 

She does have a legitimate cause for this sadism, though. Her sister Michelle (Cousin Shelley to me) has been battling breast cancer for three years. It looked like she'd beaten it, but this summer we found out it's back, and it has spread. The whole Sterbaclan is in this fight with Shelley, and we'd appreciate your prayers.

But we'd rather have your money!

And check this out--I happen to have a really spiffy action figure burning a hole in my metaphorical pocket. 

It was constructed by the esteemed Robot Chicken puppeteers. This isn't a particularly special figure--in fact, it was a castaway that I brought along on my toy hunts to compare scale. But he's pretty darn cool. I mean, as you can see, he's wearing a dapper suit. And you can get him naked to see how the geniuses (geniuii?) in the RC toy department use wire amatures to mimic Mego-style 10" figures. Or you can just get him naked. It's your thing. Do whatcha wanna do.

So here's how we exchange idols for whips: You pledge at least $10 to Jill's cause and you'll automatically be entered in a sweepstakes to win this action figure (don't call it a doll!). Enter as many times as you'd like, under as many names as you'd like. Cheat your ass off, 'cause cancer doesn't play fair, either. Make sure to mention that I sent you, so we know to put your name in the hat for the prize.

You can enter right up until Jill beats my personal swimming record of approximately 125 feet. That'd be October 2nd.

Thanks for the consideration, the prayers and the dough. I hope you win, and we all hope Shelley wins. 

Oh, and it'd be really nice if Jill survives this cockamamie race, too.

Facebook Comments Box in Blogger

One of the problems with re-opening It Sucks to Be Hugh is that I'll get sucked back into constantly playing with the blog's design. But, gotta say, few things in life are more satisfying than tinkering around with HTML and CSS and managing to accomplish something...particularly because I know very little about either of those languages. I can't write code, I can only steal it.

Tonight I managed to install this nifty Facebook comments box you'll find at the bottom of each post. Yeah, it's a little wonky that you can't combine the Facebook comments with the Blogger comments, but I figure most folks will comment through Facebook. Or maybe nobody will comment. Maybe I'm whistling in a tornado.

If you're curious as to how I accomplished this astounding feat, the simple guide is at J.S. Blog Stop. I'm sure they've got some other cool Blogger stuff there as well. Check it out, and blog merrily.

I'm Having a Baby in Nine Weeks and Still Don't Know Her Name

The above is true, no matter how much it sounds like the title of a Judy Blume book.

The Hell Am I Doing?

I'm copying some of my rants from old Facebook posts and archiving them here. And I'm back-dating them to when they were originally posted, for context and anality that only I could understand, if I tried hard. If you're interested in p'roozin the new posts, they're in the Facebook Goodies category.