If, in this moment in your life, you don't have to try to convince anything to shit in the right place, take a moment to appreciate it. Really, breathe deep and enjoy it.
I've had to try to convince things to shit in the right place since I got my dog in 1997. Lots of love during those years, but I don't think I appreciated how valuable it truly was to not have to try to convince anything to shit in the right place.
Maybe I'm just broken. Maybe it's because I've been trying since 1997 and I have never convinced anything to shit in the right place. In this endeavor, I've been a total and complete failure. I'm batting .000. Zero point zero.
Now that I think about it, I'm surprised I've convinced myself to shit in the right place. I wonder how I haven't gotten confused. Or just flat-out refused. I've had to clean up everything else's shit, I guess I might as well try my own some time.
Anyway.
If, like me, you're in a phase in your life where you do have to try to convince things to shit in the right place, just know that I'm there with you. Maybe we'll get through this together.
Or maybe we'll just clean up more shit.
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